My wife’s old dutch grandma once had a sip of beer and said “it’s like an angel pissing on my tongue”
Talking about how many children she had “your grandfather would throw his dirty undies at me and I’d get pregnant”
Grandma sounds like she could make a pirate blush :) I wanna be just like her when I grandma
it’s like an angel pissing on my tongue
That is an old Dutch saying, I was gonna ask if she had Dutch heritage, but than I re read your post.
Is angel piss supposed to be a good thing?
It’s up there with the eucharist. But carbonated I guess.
It’s just below goden shower in the hierarchy.
“How’re we gonna fuck this pig” is my favorite. Means “how are we going to start this unpleasant task”.
Fun fact: Saying it at work can net you several funny looks and more!
David Cameron is a redneck?
One I learned in the fleet was “…more fucked than a ten cent whore on a day raining dimes.”
One from my childhood in the south, would occasionally hear the adults say “my ___ hurts worse than a whore’s knees on nickel blowjob day”
My dad has a lot from growing up in a small farming community in Kansas:
“Shakin like a dog shittin prune seeds.”
“I gotta piss like a race horse.”
“So dumb you couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.”
“Shaking like a dog shitting razor blades” is the opening of an alkaline trio song. They’re out of Chicago, so I don’t think this is local to small town Kansas. Also I’m from Texas and piss like a racehorse was fairly common.
We have variants of those in northern England too. Shaking like a shitting dog and pissing like a police horse.
Southern US, heard police horse but racehorse is more common. But my family’s was always “gotta piss like a pregnant woman” and “gotta piss so bad my back teeth are floating”
I once heard a coworker say: “if brains were gunpowder, they couldn’t blow their nose”.
A friend will occasionally say “that’ll make you take back shit you never stole”, which apparently means the thing (whatever he was talking about) was good.
“like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs” in reference to watching your ass.
“Like a blind man at an orgy, I had to feel my way through”
I have a pretty mild one that I’ve used all my life: “Good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise.” I said it once to the owner of the company I work for and he thought I meant I wouldn’t do what he’d asked of me, and he got a little upset. I had to explain it meant the opposite. That I had to explain it to him didn’t really ease the angst of the situation…
this is Lemmy’s finest thread to date
My favourite is the (apparently) Australian saying “I’m so hungry a could eat the ass off a low flying duck”
Aussie slang is weapons grade language. They’re not here to fuck spiders
They truly have mastered the language and then elevated it to obscene heights.
Australian slang is fast becoming an arrogant edifice of human endeavour that god will have to one day topple or admit defeat. I for one suspect god is here to fuck spiders, and he may even be a drongo
I have always enjoyed “I could eat the north end of a south bound skunk”
Went back home after like a decade and ran into my dad’s old boss from when I was a kid. His southern drawl was pronounced and nasal like a side character in an old western, "Well I ain’t seen you in a coon’s age!
I grew up 5 mins from West Virginia. The hillbillies were always saying wild shit like this lmao
“you look like 5 pounds of shit in a whore’s lunchbox”
But… They don’t carry lunchbo— Oh.
Y’all gotta check out this artist “lilbubbychild”. He creates these incredible animations of southernisms. As a lifelong southerner, I can attest that most of these have been said by someone in my life.
Here’s a link to the normal player and with the site tracking removed: https://youtube.com/watch?v=z9lv4UunN2k
I am not a bot, and this action was performed manually.
My Grandfather- “I’m hungry enough to eat the ass out of a skunk”
In Canada, I’ve heard (and used) that as “I’m hungry enough the eat the ass out of a freshly fucked moose”
I’m so hungry I’d eat the south end of a north facing horse.
‘I’m so hungry I could crawl up a hogs ass and make me ham sandwich’
I was bewildered regarding shitshow at work and said, “it’s like going around your butthole to get to your elbow” – the californian and the Canadian had apparently never heard this phrase before. I realized then it was a southernism 😂
My wife’s granny in West Virginia: “I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers”
“I wouldn’t push her/him off the bed” means they’re fuckable in German.
Original: Ich würde sie/ihn nicht von der Bettkante schubsen.