• PoopDelivery@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      15
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      7 months ago

      That’s a horrible story. I had an aquaintance tell me when I was early 20s that when I had kids they wouldn’t be as valuable as our friends kids. Why? Because our friends kids are white.

      And, at least in the US, that piece of shit wasn’t wrong, but I didn’t need to hear that.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        24
        ·
        7 months ago

        Did he say valuable, or valued?

        Also why do you not need to hear that? Are you planning to ignore the challenges your kids will face? Like … what the fuck is with these parents cutting people out of their lives when they deliver bad news about their kids’ environment?

        If someone came to me and said “Hey there’s a coyote outside tonight so don’t let your kids out”, and I said “Well maybe that’s true but I don’t need to hear that shit” then cut them out of my life, I’d see myself as having failed as a parent right there.

        Your job is to keep your eyes open, not take steps to purge unpleasant information from your life. I’d be disgusted if you didn’t have kids, but since you adopted the responsibility of having kids and are taking this comfort-over-awareness policy, it’s appalling.

              • sigmaklimgrindset@sopuli.xyz
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                15
                arrow-down
                2
                ·
                edit-2
                7 months ago

                Fuck both your ex-friend and the internet weirdo arguing with you about your family’s safety and value, holy shit. Who asked for their toxic parenting advice/analysis???

                You made a decision based on your priorities, and I hope you and your family are doing well, and your child is THRIVING!

              • intensely_human@lemm.ee
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                3
                arrow-down
                8
                ·
                7 months ago

                Not sure if you read my last comment at all but it was a lot of effort to identify and step away from assumptions I made.

                Sorry you’re an emotional wreck right now. Hope you feel better soon.

                • rektdeckard@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  ·
                  7 months ago

                  Not a lot of people here will say this, but props for recognizing you were in the wrong here. It’s not easy to do.

            • LemmysMum@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              7
              ·
              7 months ago

              You should slap your father for not having the common decency to wipe you on the curtains.

        • Asafum@feddit.nl
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          7 months ago

          There is a gigantic difference between “there’s a dangerous animal outside that you can do something about.” And “your kid isn’t white (absolutely nothing you can do about that) so their life might suck more.”

          One of those you can actually do something about, the other is just “sucks to not be white.” It’s pretty much useless negativity.

        • PoopDelivery@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          7 months ago

          I didn’t need to hear it because I lived it and already knew the reality for non white kids growing up here. I didn’t need a middle aged white man telling me how it is. And I’d rather cut someone like that out of my life for myself, my kids weren’t born then, and they aren’t going to hear that story.

          Your coyote analogy is flawed. This wasn’t an immediate threat that I ignored.

          I know what my job is as a parent, probably better than you do.

    • beardown@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      6
      ·
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      Someone correctly indicating that mixed race children have lower standards of living in racist countries such as the United States is not someone who should be shunned

      The less “white” someone is, the more likely it is for them to experience negative social, economic, and medical outcomes; this is because the United States is a racist country that intentionally disregards people of color.

      I’m not sure why it’s improper for a friend to acknowledge that unfortunate truth. It’s reality, and clearly you agree with its conclusions on some level if you left the country yourself

      • bane_killgrind@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        You seemed to have missed

        bad for the “white” race

        which implies that the mixed race kid is dragging down whites

        If you are an idiot or a cunt now is the time to assure us it isn’t both.

        • beardown@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          4
          ·
          edit-2
          7 months ago

          If you are an idiot or a cunt now is the time to assure us it isn’t both.

          Is this allowed under the rules of moderation?

          Regardless, obviously talking about a white race is a concerning thing to do. But the rest of the conversation did not appear racist at all.

          In racist countries such as the United States, a mixed race child will have worse outcomes than a “White” child. Which seems to be what this former friend was saying. Idk why that’s so wrong - it’s literally a progressive talking point since 2014, and, really, since the 1960s and the Civil Rights Movement

          • bane_killgrind@lemmy.ml
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            7 months ago

            Alright it is both.

            The comments were not in the interest of helping the child. The comments were in the interest of criticising the parent, for having a family with a person they love.

            You are arguing that a person’s lived experiences are akchually different from what his perception was. There was no constructive or uplifting discussion following the factoid being shared. If the “friend” was telling him that some principal went to a cross burning, or some boyscout group leader has SS tattoos, that would have been useful and actionable for the parents. But he didn’t. The advice was, you shouldn’t have done that. Some cunt advice from a supposed “friend”.

            If you still don’t see the problem, you are a dumb cunt, and sympathizer for racists. Go choke on something rusty you dumb cunt.

        • beardown@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          7 months ago

          You’re being a crybully about telling a story that doesn’t make sense