Earlier this year, the US Food and Drug Administration gave Neuralink, which Musk cofounded in 2016, approval to launch human trials of its device that Musk has described as a “Fitbit in your skull.” The FDA had previously rejected Neuralink’s bid for human testing in March over safety concerns, Reuters reported, including that the wires connected to the brain chip could move within a subject’s head or that the chip could overheat.
tf is my skull gonna do with a fitbit?
It’s useful for keeping track of your mental gymnastics.
Brilliant. Purchasing now.
I would guess, and this is completely a guess, these are Elon fans who think that the vaccines were dangerous and had microchips in them.
Everyone needs to read about the poor monkeys in these trials.
Horrific.
I’m happy they’ve moved on from testing on unwilling monkeys, to willing humans.
Yeah, that shit’s how you end up with planet of the apes
Musk makes it sound like he is the only person with a company investing in this, even though.
One example is Synchron that already beat him to human trials two years ago
Ah, natural selection. I don’t wish death upon any of these people, but I certainly won’t be surprised when they start dropping like flies (or the countless monkeys in the trials).
In other words, the implants will make people go ape shit.
I’d be in line myself of it wasn’t for a few key things.
Successful trials
Elon’s history on fucking with shit for his own entertainment and/or personal gain
You know this will be connected to the internet to work
I can’t wait for basic human functions to be subscription based.
“Your brain chip must call home every three days or neural activity will be haulted”
We… at least I learnt about this in school. Its called natural selection.
I’m sure Musk won’t randomly disable any features remotely.
Elon Musk has an excellent track record for remote disabled features.
The moment this becomes widespread you know there are going to be people figuring out how to jailbreak the chips. I’m down for the idea of cybernetics but no way would I get any kind of implant even capable of a wireless connection.
This is how the zombie apocalypse begins… loads crossbow…
Well, there’s obviously nothing inside their skulls anyway 😜.
Eh, someday we’re going to have safe, powerful cybernetic implants and it’ll be because some people were willing to be test subjects. I’m not willing to be a test subject myself but I’m glad that other people are.
With the way corporations are behaving with our electronic devices, I wouldn’t trust any of them with my body.
“Before you enjoy your mid-afternoon nap, a word from several of our sponsors. Please close your eyes for optimal viewing experience”
“Having trouble sleeping? Try our new Sleep-all pills, for a long night of rest and relaxation!” - advertised after waking you from your sleep
We already have what classifies as “cybernetic implants”: pacemakers, brain implants to combat parkinson’s disease, etc.
We need medical technology to advance. What we don’t need is a bird brain (no offense to birds) touting a technology that will bring a solution for a problem that does not exist.
Companies will void your cybereyes subscription because you won’t sing “Mountain Dew is for me and you.”
Man I’d love to get this if literally anyone else was behind it, I always wanted to be a cyborg.
I would not trust anything that isn’t FOSS hardware in this space. Stuff like your phone is one thong, but something that directly connects to your brain? Like, your actual being? Yeah, no, I’d rather keep it as independent and autonomous as possible from the grips of capitalism.
I feel like the overlap of people willing to have a chip inserted in their brain and people willing to wear a MAGA hat is significantly non-zero.
I can see 2024 headlines: “Neuralink test subjects try to crash into pedestrians or blow up before reaching space. Workers implanted the wrong chips due to time pressure from the CEO”
