Eating the proper amount is hard. Eating when you have low time, money, mental energy, or education on cooking is even harder.
This book assumes nothing. Do you know how to turn on your stove? You are properly prepared to use this cookbook.
Just want to share it with more folks!
I’ll share my recipe since it isn’t in the book.
Block of Smoked Tofu
Preparation: cut open the packaging with a knife, put on a plate, and eat with your hands.
Smoked tofu tastes good enough to eat it by itself, and it’s a great source of protein and fat.
I tried tofu once. I didn’t super love it, but I’ll give it another shot
There are so many different types of tofu and different ways to prepare them that all taste vastly different. That stuff is basically a blank canvas.
It was in ramen and got soggy
Try baking it next time
I’m in a motel with only a microwave and mini fridge at the moment (and for the foreseeable future) so unfortunately I can’t bake. Is grilled tofu a thing? They have some grills outside
I’ve never been so bold. Maybe if you wrap it in foil with some sauce and veggies.
Yeah, I was thinking it would probably need to be wrapped
Yeah, tofu by itself can be very boring, but it really shines with the right spices or marinade. The simplest way to make tofu that still tastes great is to cut it up, put the pieces in a container with a tablespoon of soy sauce and some Sriracha (amount depending on your chili tolerance), and shake the container. Then you can use it in many ways, for example by placing it on something that is releasing a lot of steam, like rice that is almost done cooking.
I find it’s key to squeeze out the water with tofu so it can absorb the flavors you’ve adding. I place it between two plates with some weight on top (a pound or so is plenty) for like 10 minutes, then squish the plates together a bit over the sink to drain and that’s usually plenty. Fish sauce makes a nice flavoring if you’re into that.
I also eat raw smoked tofu blocks sometimes, but try cutting it into strips and sautéing them if you really want to give it a shot. You can eat that with whatever you like your fries with. I tend to go for a sriracha mayo.
Before you cut it up, drain any water from it, and wrap it in a clean dish towel, then press it under a cutting board or something flat for like 20 seconds on each side. If you get extra firm smoked tofu, that should be all you really need to do, but you can also toss it in seasoned flour (or a seasoned 1:1 mixture of flour and corn starch) first
I would steal this if I wasn’t allergic to soy XD
When I discovered this cookbook, I printed it out on regular printer paper and spent an hour or two hardcover binding it with a bookcloth spine and fancy foreign cover papers with gold foil and flocking. It looks so nice!
Then I immediately had to use it because I can manage professionally binding a shitty printout of the Sad Bastard Cookbook, but I cannot adequately feed myself. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ This cookbook is great!
Quite possibly the most glowing review/recommendation for the book. Clearly a motivated and talented individual, but they STILL need help cooking!
To add my own bachelor chow to this
Meat of some kind these frozen vegetables And KD
What’s KD, precious?
Either Kraft Dinner (Mac and cheese) or Kentucky Deluxe. Either way is sad.
what about craft dinner is sad? like I know it’s not top notch but i can’t say I ever felt like it was a bad thing
Mac & Cheese, the polite weirdos to our north call it Kraft Dinner.
Found the not Canadian
That doesn’t sound too hard. Most people are not Canadian.
Before I had access to the internet; These were basically my, ‘Don’t die, eat something easy’ list of relatively quick foods back in the darkest, deepest depression days (turns out my brain chemistry reacts horribly to antidepressants and antipsychotics). I was just an anxious dude that didn’t know it due to being heavily medicated.
Page 19.
"Kinda Like Pad Thai
Peanut butter and sweet chili sauce mix together to make something which tastes kinda like you’d imagine Pad Thai sauce would taste if you’ve never had Pad Thai before. It’s delicious. Real Pad Thai is even more so."
This is actually a great book! I don’t like cooking so this is right up my alley.
In the Great Depression, it’s not like anyone was starving to death. Rather it was like they were eating flour paste and dying of malnutrition.
That we are in an era that we need the SBC speaks to how bad things are. Here in the states, we don’t have food deserts, we have food swamps, where the only thing one can get is junk food.
Flour paste makes for great bait. You can catch a mess of small fish with dough bait.
Which is great until you get heavy metal poisoning or pfas or whatever the latest one is. My local DNR recommends eating just ONE meal of freshwater fish a MONTH because of water pollution. We are so fucked.
Mmm, heavy metals, just like Grandma ate!
There are definitely food deserts in the US.
Seriously. In Canada too. Our countries are huge but even in populated areas like LA there are well documented food deserts.
Well Louisiana sucks for all sorts of reasons. Oh, wait. You mean the city that us anglophones abbreviated twice.
All this talk about food desserts is making me hungry.
Your doom and gloom is catalyzed by the existence of a novelty cookbook?
My doom and gloom is catalyzed by a lot of things including, yes, a novelty cookbook that appears to be made in recognition of desperate times. It isn’t the only thing that informs my doom and gloom, and this isn’t to say I don’t have hope. But it is a Goblins at the gates of Gondor kind of situation, in which a lot of things have to go simultaneously right before we’re out of the fine mess we’re in.
I hear ya. But ive given up bearing the weight and just doing my best day by day while enjoying life.
In my case enjoying life is not something that I can simply do. I manage mental illness which features chronic suicidality, but it’s been driven into me very hard that I am at fault for my grief and trauma. But having a sober understanding of why I feel the way I do, and the social forces that drove parents, teachers and authorities to treat me the way I did helps me counter those neural processes.
This cartoon illustrates the dynamic I’ve encountered, and I hypothesize the mental illness epidemic in the US is intergenerational and compounding.
That we’re also dealing with a couple of imminent great filters the human species is unprepared to navigate hits hard for me.
Sorry to hear that. Nothing has to compound. I dont have a clean record of mental health. Ive personally improved my situation by not analyzing my position, and rather focusing on my direction. Forgive yourself as often as you need. Give up a little on the trajectory of humankind and take what makes you happy when you can.
First glance of the thumbnail had me thinking this was a D&D sourcebook.
Replace the vase of flowers with a tub of Vaseline or moisturizer.
For a D&D cooking show, check out Delicious in Dungeon!
Some heavy hitters here
I substituted a knife for the spoon and I feel like it still came out ok.
Tastes like it has a little extra iron in it
That’s the blood from the cuts in your tongue.
It’s not as funny when you point out the joke
As long as it’s not a fork you’re good.
Works for crunchy. Any thick peanut butter really
★☆☆☆☆
Substituted a knife for the spoon and caulk for peanut butter. Awful taste, horrible recipe. Do not recommend. Would put zero stars but it won’t let me.
Karen, MO
Best is when you’re at the end and you bring out the spatula. It’s like a mini Christmas.
You know you were gonna have a second serving anyway, may as well just skip the trouble and have both at once.
That is the most important tool in my kitchen.
Warning: do NOT overdo peanut butter on a spoon if you have a dry mouth
I need this book.
Click download! PDF is free.
I want PAY
There is a link to buy a physical copy if you like.
Some days, you need a reminder that eating anything is better than eating nothing.
Seeing this post prompted me to cook for myself, thank you for sharing this valuable resource 😊
Pros: high protein food
Cons: makes a spoon dirty
Suggested improvements to recipe: note to thoroughly lick spoon clean, or use a finger to swipe up the peanut butter.
Use napkin for remaining peanut butter before you put it in the sink. Then it will make the spoon less intimidating to wash.
For me, I’m more concerned about getting bacteria into the highly nutritious PB. If you’re only eating one spoonful then fine. I wouldn’t stick a spoon that’s been in my mouth back into the container though. I have done this “meal” though, but I scoop how much I want into a bowl first. Maybe drizzle some honey or something onto it.
Butter knife it onto some crackers. (I prefer Ritz.) The knife never goes into the mouth so I can keep using it. Does make a mess on the counter or table if you don’t use a paper towel or plate(or bowl) to catch most of the crumbs. Guess you could eat over the sink…
Mix up your PB&J in a bowl. That shit is fire. Raspberry preserves are very good
Why is the spoon dirty? Just lick it until it’s clean of peanut butter and put it back in the drawer. /s
Nah, let your dog lick it clean since they have cleaner mouths than us filthy humans. Whenever I’m done eating I just let my dog lick the plate/bowl/whatever clean and then it’s good to go back in the cupboard.
/s
This was the premise of one of those ‘that really happened’ reddit stories.
Ah, I’ve been making these recipes for decades. It tracks with my cooking skills.
I had no idea I was qualified to be a cookbook author.
Have you been reading my diary?
I’m so guilty of both
Best one: pasta in a rice cooker. Game changer
Tell me more!
Me too!
Guys it’s literally in the completely free to download book linked in this post, called exactly what it’s called here.
Missed opportunity to send them a link to this post.
Rice cookers the microwave of the 21th century
Okay so what can’t be cooked in a rice cooker? I do oatmeal in it too.
I don’t recommend making ice Cream in a Rice Cooker.
Challenge accepted!
Wat. How?? I need this hack
Thank you for sharing this. Not only am I finding useful depression cooking ideas here but it also seems like a great “intro to cooking” book and just a “fuck I’m out of everything but don’t feel like going to the store” kind of cookbook
This made my night. What a well-written and kind product
I don’t get this one, surely you can just buy pasta sauce instead and it’s exactly the same steps but better 🤔
Would be a great reaction meme if you took out cooking and centered the remaining text
I’ve been trying to learn more about GIMP, so here you go.
Oh wait, was I supposed to leave it slanted?
Ay, DIY gimp skills make a homemade meme truly tasty
Dear diary, today the internet delivered. Cheers to your GIMP learning journey!
Works either way, nice work.
This is for people who might not have pasta sauce in their pantry, but most people will have ketchup in the fridge.
100%, some of these recipes are “scavenge for food with things in the back of your fridge/pantry”
Or packets from a fast food restaurant
i once had a long article in a pre-internet punk 'zine about the different meals you can make with free food like condiments… salt pepper water ketchup mustard relish honey etc. it also taught how to use toothpaste as hair gel.
it was eye opening.
It doesn’t happen to still exist does it? Sounds like a very interesting read
i don’t have it. it was at Moby Disc record store in the 1990s, maybe someone collects 'zines.
I’m gonna try to search for it later today. Any details you can add would help a ton
paperback, like half a 8.5 x 11. cover was blue and included a drawing of a payphone. the zine also included punk album reviews.
i see archive.org/details/zines has a ton of sinilar
I don’t like ketchup like that. Fires, sure. Burger? A little. This? This is fucking gross. I also knew someone that put it on their pizza. On the inverse, I can eat yellow mustard straight
Pasta and ketchup is a common meal in Paris according to the one French Netflix show I watched where they ate it and never commented about how absurd it is.
Maybe French ketchup is different than American ketchup?
Probably doesn’t contain corn syrup.
Almost certainly
It’s almost certainly Heinz, and in no permutation you cannot find everywhere else in the world.
Ahh this is not a “go buy” something recipe.
This is a “If you are thinking of not eating because you feel like you have nothing to eat, eat this instead”
Okay this made me tear up and is perfect. Peanut Butter On A Spoon is a large percentage of what i have been eating lately. I feel seen.
Some days, or weeks, it’s enough!
Maybe shake it up from time to time with something else from the book, but I understand where some months eating enough to keep the stomach pains away is just all that can be done.
Yes! Very luckily my health flares only seem to get real bad for a few days at a time nowadays, so i do have some “real food” mixed in, but as a person who has been struggling with shame about eating less well than i wish i could on those days it is very nice to be reminded that food, literally any food at all, is good enough and in fact an act of love toward myself. Excited to peruse the book for some more ideas
I really love Mexican food so sometimes my dinner is pulling a tortilla out of the bag and eating it.
If you pass this recipe on please give me credit.
That’s a 2 am staple. Especially when you roll in uo and pretend there’s actually stuff inside.
I would give credit, but your username being CarbonatedPastaSauce gives different expectations to any recipe with your name attached
I do the same. Put some butter and Tabasco on it
Maybe brown some ground meat and scoop some on, with some chopped veggies and shredded cheese
This is now a taco. But any taco is a good taco. Carry on
Microwave it for two seconds first. 😙🤌🏻
Then sprinkle in some sugar like you’re ‘salt bae’ o make it a gourmet dessert.
Listen buddy, let’s be realistic, I’m no professional chef.
Lul this reminds me, we used to just chuck a few in a plastic bag and warm them up in the micro for like 15 seconds. No idea why, we had a stove and a comal to warm them up.
But I haaate waiting those 2 extra seconds 🤪
Thanks for sharing! I feel like I know some folks who need this in case of emergency. Will be passing it along to several friends…
