Water well Verzasca Dam Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, left Orbital can of Coca-Cola lower case “t” television remote control the blurry Star Destroyers.

Extra long shoe horn. I eventually upgraded to a solid metal one when the cheap one broke.

People talk about the Harambe timeline, but Citizens United is when the shit started going sideways.

Nearly everyone close to me voted for Trump. I fucking hope they get deported.

Most of that sounds like work. They’re just going to buy it from a data broker.

Say it with me, “My wife has an inner ear infection.”

Fuck McKinsey.

Connect it to the mustache?

Compost bin.

This is going on his resume. This will be used as an answer on an interview question. Nothing more than that, really.

Appeasement.

All of Microsoft Office, or just Excel, Word and PowerPoint?

When I worked third shift at a gas station, I called this little fella the Powerball Moth, because the paper you printed the tickets on was yellow and pink and I saw bunches outside on the windows, attracted by the lights inside.

We actually got a lot of moths then…much fewer when I look now.

I think they lost funding from USAID, so I don’t know what it is now.

This is a good one.

It is what it is.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

I’m equally interested in your uncle’s side hustle.

WD-40 and 3-in1 Oil, the olive oil and vinegar of the handyman world.

More like provoking, but that’s fair.