• Nobody@lemmy.worldEnglish
    66·
    9 months ago

    I briefly recall a time when I thought unions weren’t all that ba-

    A fierce electric shock drops me to my knees. The pain thankfully subsides as I return to Rightthink. Job Creators be praised!

  • jaybone@lemmy.worldEnglish
    32·
    9 months ago

    “I have just murdered a man, but I can save hundreds on my car insurance by switching to geico.”

  • Hyperreality@kbin.social
    338·
    9 months ago

    You need to add a psychosexual element to it to make it truly disturbing. Eg.

    I laugh as Elon Musk beams a meme directly to my frontal cortex via NeuraLink. Omg epic win. I blink twice to NeuraLike it, then think very hard “Thank you Sir! Please send BitCoin.” I open my eyes. It is nighttime, I am strangling a union organizer, and I have an erection. I scream as loud as I can, my face and throat burns, but all I hear is a ringing sound. As the light leaves the union organizer’s eyes, I orgasm and feel the sticky wetness dribble down my trouser leg before I lose consciousness.

  • OpenStars@startrek.websiteEnglish
    23·
    9 months ago

    That’s so cute… to think that you’d ever be allowed to wake up again. Now for your next trick, get rid of any incriminating evidence, like the person whose hands strangled the victim.

  • MashedTech@lemmy.worldEnglish
    7·
    9 months ago

    I can’t wait to get sent a message by Elon Musk to my Neuralink to send Bitcoin and he will send double back.

  • SomeGuy69@lemmy.worldEnglish
    6·
    9 months ago

    Whenever I try to think hard about unionizing, my brain tries to avoid it, for some reason I get flooded with bullshit information that makes focus impossible. I hope it’s not because of my NeuraLink™ because I need it for work and social life…

    I want to buy a Tesla, but I don’t know why.