I’m not sure. Living feels uncomfortable but the thought of dying and all the suffering it would cause is even more uncomfortable. I’m not sure I want to be here but if I wasn’t, my family would be far, far worse off and that makes me feel bad.
Debt to family members. If I pay them off, I’ll have a reason to keep living. If i decide to run or kill myself, then I’ll just be “a coward” and “selfish”.
But I’ve had bad luck my whole life. I hope I’ll be able to pay them off one day, but the idea of suicide has been crossing my mind daily. I’ve been unemployed since covid except for 1 job which lasted a month, and another job this December which may only last a month.
I am out of money. I just graduated university with a Bachelors Degree, and unlike most of my colleagues, I’ve been unable to get a job in the industry.
My school loans are coming to collect in January. My whole family is poor. I’m the realistic example of a poor person graduating with a degree. I’m stuck poor, and I will probably die poor.
In general, guilt for the people I’d leave behind.
At this immediate moment, blasting “What a Time to be Alive” by Fall Out Boy in my headphones at work is doing the trick.
The Krebs cycle.
The crabs cycle - maybe I’ll spontaneously evolve into a crab, like all things do. Anything else & I’ll just continue to be a waste of space until I get a good enough excuse to not be.
I loved learning the Krebs cycle.
That makes one of us.
There are a lot of terrible people doing terrible things to humanity and the planet, and I’ll be damned if I let those fucking ghouls outlive me.
The question.
Curiosity.
Oxygen, water and food.
I just keep waking up and it keeps working
Cheerful vitriol
Your mom /s
It feels nice to bike and feel the wind in your hair and huddle into your jacket keeping you warm. I also actively take breaks from playing video games to sit and feel intense gratitude and happiness toward the game. And oranges are absolutely delicious, and singing loud makes me feel alive.
I also like finding flowers in springtime (and putting them into my journal) and seeing/hearing great big flocks of crows in the autumn. Those are seasonal though, not a daily pleasure that keeps me going no matter what.
My dog
Oxygen
Being the best at things. There’s nothing better than the feeling of being absolutely stellar at something. I try to develop new skills everyday, and try to find the most effective and efficient way to do everything.
Also wife’s tits.
And ass.
Yeah, same: this person’s wife’s tits & ass.
She was the background photo on a fairly popular NSFW subreddit for about 5 years, so a lot of people have seen them.
Ohh, celebrity tits & ass, fancy!
The memes live, no matter what platform we are on. #poopknife
Memes find a way.
