Rechargeable batteries. They have paid for themselves many times over by now. Less guilt about throwing away dead ones, too.

Electric teakettle if you use an older style stovetop one. The lowest end ones I’ve seen are only like $15, and work pretty much as well as some nicer ones, just don’t look as pretty, but they’ll boil water faster than the stove will. Even if you don’t make tea or similar, if you ever eat things like pasta that are cooked in boiling water, you can heat the water in the kettle first and then transfer to the pot to make things slightly faster, and use less gas if you happen to have a gas stove.

This is stupid. But socks and underwear. All new socks and underwear.

I love throwing out all my old ragged socks and having a bunch of brand new pairs in the drawer.

Big ol’ bag o’ weed

Tongue scraper. Get a small metal one, will completely remove bad breath and stuff like garlic breath. It also removes cakes of plaque on your tongue sometimes. I’ve always brushed my teeth, but holy cow the tongue scraper helps. Better than mouthwash.

A red nightlight or two somewhere between your bed and the bathroom. Red doesn’t wake you up as much or destroy your night vision. Ideal for trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

• A bidet attachment.
• For me, an under-the-sink trash can that hands on the cabinet door has been a huge QoL improvement.
• A back scratcher.
• Much more situational, but our back gate has a padlock that was originally different from our house keys. Kwikset actually sells “programmable” padlocks so now it is the same key as our front door, which makes life a tad easier.
• A computer mouse that fits my hands.
• Enough phone and laptop chargers to not have to constantly go to another room to grab one.

So many things in your house that are probably pissing you off:

• it’s very easy to replace an outlet that doesn’t hold a plug or is a little off for whatever reason.
• ditto light switches
• door handles and shit. We hated the jank handle on our patio door that barely worked and required specialized training to get to lock. $12 for a new one, that was much more aesthetically from this decade. (that said, some lock lube, which is a thing, goes a long way)
• ditto for the various shitty faucets in this house (or any slightly older house.) You can get a ton of bathroom fixtures for under $30.
• hinges. Unless you’re trying to re-hang a safe door, you’re going to be under $20.
• faucet diffuser. They just screw on. Have you lived in your place for more than a few years and haven’t replace them? Just do it, it’s like $4 a faucet.
• doorbell. Smart doorbells can easily be had for under $50. A little easier often than replacing the traditional bell because you usually have a plug in chime rather than something wired.
• a can of sprayfoam. Seal that area that is letting in air. Trim it with a box knife, chances are you won’t know the hack exists.

Knife sharpener.

Your knives aren’t bad, they’re dull. A knife sharpener will make every knife you own good as new (and it’s cheaper than any single knife as well)

A bidet

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a few random things:

• $5.99 magnetic measuring spoons. They stick together and nest.
• $18.99 MagSafe phone car mount. I use iPhone and my car supports Android Auto/Carplay, but there isn’t really a good place to stick your phone. This thing is basically a big magnet, I plug my phone in, throw it on this thing, and we good. Worth noting, even if you have CarPlay (guessing Android Auto as well) even though you don’t need to use your phone, some apps have some functions when you’re using them in this manner. EG: maps displays the next few turn by turn directions on the phone screen, and the overview of the map on the carplay screen.
• decent/good chef’s knife. I think the one I’m using now is about $30, but you can get the ol’ reliable Victorinox for around that price or a little cheaper.
• cabinet lighting pucks. I think Walmart has them for like $12 for two, but they are basically stick somewhere, motion activated lights that are battery powered. Paired with rechargeable batteries, I can now see the food that we push to the back of the cabinet to die.
• new streaming stick thingy. Though I greatly prefer Apple TV, it’s hard to justify the price of those compared to Roku/Fire TV. That said, if you’re hanging on to an older version of the Fire TV/Roku, upgrading helps the annoyance factor because it’s just far less slow. We just added a $24.99 4k Fire TV stick, much nicer.
• Wireless chargers for phones. You can get them for like under $10. Buy 5, put them where you generally set your phone down. Or more simply, right next to the bedside. I generally only charge at night, so much nicer to be able to just drop it on a pad/magnet, etc.
• $9 dimmer switch. Our master bath is weird. The toilet/shower area has a door. The sink area connects directly to the bedroom with no door. The sink area has large mirrors and massive amounts of lighting. Fucking sucks if you’re just getting up to pee and you now have the light of the sun on you and your partner at 3am.

more niche, bunch of smart home shit:

• just think about how $10-$20 and a little bit of thought can improve your life. I have a switch connected to my espresso maker, now I can yell in the shower to turn it on to pre-heat. If I had a regular schedule, I could automate this further just on time. I have it set so that once I tell it to turn on, it turns off after 20 minutes.
• motion sensor lights. though technically you don’t need a smart home for this, there are some lights in my house that I only want to turn on when someone is there. I have a hallway, for example, that is more or less a cave tunnel. Any time I’m in that hallway (or anyone else) I want to have some light. So I have a motion sensor that turns the light on, and based on the status of the sun, it dims accordingly. When I walk into my garage, there are a few lights that turn on in sequence and it feels like you’re walking into the bat cave.
• buttons! You can buy many different remotes for < $20. Pretty much anything you automate via voice you also need a button for. Pro-tip, use in-wall switches where you can, but in my case I didn’t have a neutral wire because it’s an older house, and my options were pretty limited/expensive.
• last example: my entryway lights. I have a door sensor ($10-15) so if I open it I can perform an action. My entry light has a smart bulb ($9.) I also have a floor standing lamp adjacent to this that has a smart bulb. What this allows me to do is check when I’ve recently arrived, and if it’s after sunset and the bigger light isn’t already on, turn on this entry light. If my TV is playing a movie, the light goes on in the dimmest setting so arriving people don’t disturb.

Sounds dumb, but dishwashing gloves. I don’t have a dishwasher, and not getting my hands clammy when I do dishes makes the process infinitely less horrible.

Warm soft socks!

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