The total number of Champagne shipments from France sank by almost 10% last year to 271 million bottles, marking the second consecutive year of declines.
Do what I do, get three bottles of cheap champagne, label them “Trump”, “Putin” and “Musk” respectively, and when one of these dickheads die you pop the respective bottle and have a toast.
I had a bottle of brandy made in “Crimea, Ukraine”, for when the Putin dies. Doesn’t help the fact that my wife poured out all the alcohol when we were arguing about its consumption, but at least I had a plan.
I’m not excited for anyone to die, but I really want to know, on my deathbed, that I outlived those three.
I tell myself it has something to do with knowing I contributed positive change to the world for longer than their negative, but I realize it’s probably just my pettiness.
Do what I do, get three bottles of cheap champagne, label them “Trump”, “Putin” and “Musk” respectively, and when one of these dickheads die you pop the respective bottle and have a toast.
Get more bottles as needed.
I had a bottle of brandy made in “Crimea, Ukraine”, for when the Putin dies. Doesn’t help the fact that my wife poured out all the alcohol when we were arguing about its consumption, but at least I had a plan.
It’s the thought that counts. My Putin expiration celebration will actually also be alcohol free, but it’ll taste just as sweet.
Heh. I may or may not already have those three.
I’m not excited for anyone to die, but I really want to know, on my deathbed, that I outlived those three.
I tell myself it has something to do with knowing I contributed positive change to the world for longer than their negative, but I realize it’s probably just my pettiness.