I felt similar to you when I first did it (but yours worked out in the end). My one experience with a guy was very disappointing. The chats made it sound promising. But he showed up in a rush looking trashy in sweatpants and work boots which was a bad look compared to his pictures (even after just showering), he had just smoked a cigarette on his drive over (no offense to smokers but ew) so he smelled strongly of that when he claimed he didn’t smoke, I got past that and was blowing him at first (and liking it) but then he stopped me to try and blow me (which I never said I wanted and was maybe the most aggressive, teeth involved and just bad BJ I’ve ever gotten and I made him stop right away), and I finally worked up the courage to say he could fuck me to get it over with and then he “discovered” he forgot a condom and only brought lube when I said condom only.
So I immediately got turned off, the fantasy stopped and I sent him home. I think because of the internet and all these sissy hypno captions/memes a lot of guys just think all sissies are back alley sluts who have zero standards, are fine with doing literally any sex act/getting STDs and want to be treated like trash. And I find that to be the worst part of all of these online communities because that’s NOT a healthy perspective to have. You look through some of the subs on Reddit and it’s like it’s 70% hairy masculine gay guys with an obsession for humiliation, anonymous forced sex and name calling with no interest in being feminine/sissy. And then the rest are actual girly Sissies who don’t view themselves as a bad gay joke sex toy to be abused and called a Faggot cum dumpster by literally everyone in the community. It feels like that mindset isn’t respected at all in general though and I do not get it. I think you need to find a guy who is more respectful, cares about making you feel feminine/sexy and takes his time.
I felt similar to you when I first did it (but yours worked out in the end). My one experience with a guy was very disappointing. The chats made it sound promising. But he showed up in a rush looking trashy in sweatpants and work boots which was a bad look compared to his pictures (even after just showering), he had just smoked a cigarette on his drive over (no offense to smokers but ew) so he smelled strongly of that when he claimed he didn’t smoke, I got past that and was blowing him at first (and liking it) but then he stopped me to try and blow me (which I never said I wanted and was maybe the most aggressive, teeth involved and just bad BJ I’ve ever gotten and I made him stop right away), and I finally worked up the courage to say he could fuck me to get it over with and then he “discovered” he forgot a condom and only brought lube when I said condom only.
So I immediately got turned off, the fantasy stopped and I sent him home. I think because of the internet and all these sissy hypno captions/memes a lot of guys just think all sissies are back alley sluts who have zero standards, are fine with doing literally any sex act/getting STDs and want to be treated like trash. And I find that to be the worst part of all of these online communities because that’s NOT a healthy perspective to have. You look through some of the subs on Reddit and it’s like it’s 70% hairy masculine gay guys with an obsession for humiliation, anonymous forced sex and name calling with no interest in being feminine/sissy. And then the rest are actual girly Sissies who don’t view themselves as a bad gay joke sex toy to be abused and called a Faggot cum dumpster by literally everyone in the community. It feels like that mindset isn’t respected at all in general though and I do not get it. I think you need to find a guy who is more respectful, cares about making you feel feminine/sexy and takes his time.