Was watching Denmark v. France last week. France got a penalty, and Denmark subbed in a very rotund goalkeeper for the penalty, then Immediately subbed him back out.
So, just get hella chonky and go join your country’s handball team.
Real talk, I wish Handball was more widely played in the US. I have the right build and good hand-eye coordination for (non-goalie) Handball.
A guy who went through such an experience made a webcomic about it. Very long read, but incredibly powerful.
https://elan.school/rude-awakening/