"There was a moth. I saved you from it "
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JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•What's your best tip or hack for camping?3·16 days agoFor the coffee drinkers: https://velo-orange.com/products/soto-helix-coffee-maker?keyword=coffee. We use these as daily drivers with a really good manual coffee grinder. Added bonus: our coffee can be about the same as we get at home.
JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto cats@lemmy.world•That chitter sound cats make while watching their prey20·18 days agoThere were a couple books I read long ago, one of which I think was “Catwatching” by Desmond Morris. I can’t recall the other one. Both books indicated the chittering was a frustration sound.
JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•What is something you believed was normal or true as a kid, but later found out it was not?32·19 days ago- The United States is a righteous, fair, and just country.
- Success and a comfortable life necessarily followed hard, diligent, smart work
- Adults, by virtue of having been around longer, necessarily knew more and knew better than I.
- Socialism bad.
- All kids get beaten on a daily basis for transgressions such as a B grade on their paper, a speck of food still stuck to the dishes after washing, or for listening to music on the radio that their parents didn’t like.
JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto News@lemmy.world•Microplastics shed by food packaging are contaminating our food and drink, study finds91·21 days agoHow do you think the gaskets are made?
JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto No Stupid Questions@lemmy.world•I got herpes. What can I expect?66·22 days agoI had a partner with genital HSV-1. YMMV, but in general:
- No BFD; the stigma of HSV is the result of a marketing campaign in the 70s (not 100% on the date) by a company selling HSV treatments
- Be honest and inform your prospective partners; yeah, some people who haven’t done the reading are going to react negatively
- Antiviral treatments are available; the one my partner was a daily pill
- In eight years of unprotected sex with her, she never had an outbreak and I test negative
- You may never have another outbreak, you may have regular flare-ups, or something in between
- Talk to your doctor and any take all of my previous comments like the Internet rumor it is
By executive order, I decree that humans are, effective immediately, forbidden to ever allow the lap to disappear, ever stop petting or playing with me, or ever leave to go to work. Additionally, I now have Presidential immunity to sleep between JayleneSlide’s legs all night, and hugs and kisses must be delivered to my head at every meal time.
JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•Anyone else kind of disgusted at the waste created by going out to eat?6·1 month agoYour point is spot-on. Fully agreed: modern dishwashers are way more energy- and water-efficient than manually washing dishes. Like at least an order of magnitude.
I personally struggle with this one for different reasons. Energy and water consumption are a very tight concern since I live on a sailboat. I can’t just crank the tap to get more water. Marine health is also a concern since, ya know, it’s all around me, and I eat some of these critters around my boat. Surfactants in detergent are deeply problematic in the environment and are not removed by most wastewater treatment. Moreover, surfactants impede wastewater treatment because of the emulsification interfere with aerobic treatment (Poland seems to be actively working on the problem). FWIW, manual dish detergent also has surfactants, especially SDS/SLS, so manual washing is not a panacea.
I don’t think there is a “right” answer to be had. But it sticks in my craw both ways.
JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto Asklemmy@lemmy.ml•Anyone actually say during an interview that the reason they want the job was because they need money?17·1 month agoAlways, every time.
“Why do you want to work here?”“Because you have an opening, and the pay looks commensurate for the responsibilities. So far, the role looks like a good mutual fit. But I’m going to need more details to ensure we’re good for each other.”
May I suggest reading a history book? “Lies My Teacher Told Me” is excellent. “A People’s History of the United States” is also great. Or, maybe you would like to understand how you’ve been manipulated. Well, cool, maybe “Manufacturing Consent.”
One of the significant contradictions of democracy in the US is that it was largely shaped by various forms of illegal civil disobedience against entrenched power structures. Such civil disobedience is retrospectively seen as justified, committed by people who are retrospectively seen as heroes. But each successive generation is demanded to believe that any further civil disobedience is unreasonable.
Just a small selection of a long history of US civil disobedience:
- Boston Tea Party
- Great Railroad Strike
- Haymarket affair
- Battle of Blair Mountain - largest armed insurrection in America since the Civil War
- Selma to Montgomery Marches
There is a lot we get to take for granted from our comfortable, privileged perches built with the blood and tears of those who would perform civil disobedience.
JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•Divorcees of Lemmy, why did your marriage end?2·1 month agoThank you for this. My wife left about a week ago. It blindsided me, but I’m hindsight I could have seen it.
- Happy to help
- JFC, I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through, and I deeply empathize. I’m just some douchebag on the internet, but if you need a trained ear, please feel free to DM me.
- Sure, hindsight is 20/20, but a critical component is giving yourself grace and emotional space
Now I realize that if I don’t work on myself, I will bring all of my problems to any future relationship. I’m only at the very start of the journey, and every day is still painful – our relationship lasted 15 years, and that can’t be unwound quickly.
There is sense of closure and ability of growth in understanding the whys. Explicitly working to avoid carrying forward the injuries is a huge step. As you probably already read in Gottman: the best couple’s therapy is individual therapy. Empathy by way of anecdote: when I was reading Levine’s “Attached,” so many of the example conversations had me feeling like “Were y’all in the room when we were arguing?!”
I’m serious about the being a sounding board/ear. I hope you find inner peace sooner rather than later.
JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•Divorcees of Lemmy, why did your marriage end?3·1 month agoFully agreed. According to Gottman’s research, relationships can survive “infidelity” just fine. It’s the betrayal of trust that nukes relationships.
I can take a lot of shit, but I just don’t want to be lied to. And that’s why I prefer ENM/poly. People are gonna do people things, but letting my partner have that outlet, not feeling trapped in any way, is (in my experience) critical to keeping the flame alive.
JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•Divorcees of Lemmy, why did your marriage end?315·1 month agoShe didn’t change; she finally revealed herself. In short, her attachment type is anxious-avoidant. That shit burns down everything around it. She was jealous AND cheating, which was just rich given that we were ENM/poly. I was so busy with life, work, and my sailboat that I only had romantic bandwidth for her.
I am forever changed. I went on an intensive therapeutic and introspective journey. Anxious-avoidant people can be immensely attractive anxious attachment types like me. I identified that in myself, addressed my own life traumas, and developed my personal boundaries. These days, I’m less poly, more monogamish. I approached dating with explicitly defined intentions and must-haves, rather than just random chance. I found the partner of my dreams, and we’re about to celebrate eight years together.
Early on, there were mutual warning signs, but we both thought we had the tools to face any challenges. As I mentioned, I had poor boundaries, which now would put an immediate end to any such bullshit.
What can I offer now?
- Learn Attachment Theory and know yourself
- Read John Gottman books before and all during your relationships
- Get professional therapeutic help; CBT, DBT, EFT… you might already have all the tools, but a good therapist will teach how to use them in integration
- Learn non-violent communication and/or take a workshop; this will provide massive return on investment in all aspects of your life
- Practice meditation and mindfulness; also pays dividends everywhere
JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto Mildly Infuriating@lemmy.world•Ads when you’re pumping gasEnglish14·1 month agoOregon. And at least half the pumps must still be staffed. Washington has had self-serve for at least 30 years (when I moved here).
JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•What's your favorite instrument to listen to?9·1 month agoRoland TB-303. It’s the synth that launched so much electronic music. Examples are legion, but one of my favorites is Psychic TV “E-male:” https://youtu.be/o2U3joQ9oFI
Generally considered among the penultimate 303 examples are:
- “Higher State of Consciousness” by Josh Wink (https://youtu.be/NdaqXjDtXkQ)
- “Acperience 1” by Hardfloor (https://youtu.be/Un4CeV_l3pI)
JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•Have you ever been rejected just because of your height?24·1 month agoRegularly throughout my life. I’m also 5’7". It seems to be less of an issue now that I’m older. People are going to like what they like. But people who limit their choices to strict deterministic traits tend to completely skip right over awesome people, and then they wonder why they’re partners are so terrible.
So yeah, this shit is going to happen. You’ll also get chosen for your height. Focus on improving those physical traits over which you have control.
I collaborate with other people who are also on DRS. Before I had teammates on DRS, I tried using Blender, Openshot, Shotcut, KDenLive. Those NLEs are just not there yet.
I actually started my solid modeling/parametric journey on FreeCAD, and I prefer the parametric workflow. I switched to Inventor when FreeCAD kept crashing when the object tree was ~60 primitives even on my monstrous workstation. I would love to go back to FreeCAD, because fuck AutoDesk in its ear, so hopefully they get the stability + complexity under control.
Rant on, bruddah! I am also in the “must use it for work” group, and I despise my work laptop with the fury of 1000 suns. In my personal work and prior to this new job, I was staying on Win 10 for Inventor, AutoCAD, FL Studio (and a bunch of VST synths I bought), and DaVinci Resolve Studio. My experience with my work laptop has spurred my nearly-complete jump to Linux.
FL Studio has been replaced by Bitwig, new learning curve and loss of the VSTs just being the cost I have to eat. I almost have DRS running in perfectly in Aurora Linux. And my two Win 10 machines will just go into an isolated network until I can figure out workarounds/replacements for the Autodesk garbage.
JayleneSlide@lemmy.worldto Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•How ok would you be if teleported right now into a field in Peru in the 1300s with... (see description)?4·2 months agoDepends on which context in which you’re interested. Internet? Hm… For the refit part and thinking through/designing for all of these factors, maybe The Duracell Project (https://www.youtube.com/@TheDuracellProject/videos). Most of the people I know actually doing this stuff are… actually doing it. There’s not a lot of time and bandwidth to create an accessible internet resource. And the seriously salty folk, most of them barely have email. Among my sailing peers, I’m the most technologically capable, and that’s not saying much. :D We tend to eschew the high tech that invariably will let us down when we most need it. Much of seafaring knowledge and skills are born from hard experience and sitting around getting drunk with old salts, which is its own kind of hard experience. :D
You start small, push the limits, break shit, find fixes in order get back to port, and find what works for you with what you have at hand. Anything you couldn’t fix, you go to your marina neighbors or the internet to find jury-rigs for that specific failure mode. In your day-to-day life, learning some basic knots, how to make whoopie slings and soft shackles with Dyneema, wilderness first aid, wilderness first responder training, even basic disaster preparedness all help change your perspective on how you approach your day. For example, drilling for natural disaster response, at least for me, shifts my mindset into a “what could go wrong,” “what are the failure modes of [this critical component]” way of thinking. These are aspects you can explore without a boat or having wilderness nearby.
I haven’t watched a lot of her stuff, but Wind Hippie Sailing (https://www.youtube.com/@WindHippieSailing/videos) is a seriously badass solo dirtbagger (not a pejorative; it’s technical term cribbed from rock climbing). Solo sailors are a breed apart and a few steps above the rest of us salty dogs who have crew.
Downloaded to my Kiwix app or installed on phone/tablet and mirrored across a bunch of backup devices:
- 100 Rabbits
- Ready.gov
- Animated Knots
- U.S. Army Ranger Handbook (hard to ignore 200 years of military refinement)
- Survival Manual (sadly no longer available)
Now if you’re okay with books, lots of great resources there.
- “Sailing Alone Around the World” by Joshua Slocum
- “Sailing a Serious Ocean” by John Kretschmer
- “Cruising in Serrafyn,” “The Self Sufficient Sailor,” “The Capable Cruiser” by Larry and Lyn Pardey; hell, almost all of their books are great reads; they sailed the world for decades with almost no electric and no engine
- "Where There Is No Doctor and “Where There Is No Dentist,” Hesperian Health Guides
- “Annapolis Book of Seamanship” by John Rousmaniere
- Just about anything by Fatty Goodlander, funny stories on the dirtbagging lifestyle
Let me know if you any additional questions. Happy to share.
Edit to add: Practical Sailor (https://www.practical-sailor.com/), a great internet resource . JFC, how did I forget that?!
CBL is one of my all-time faves! Add in Sync24, which is Daniel Vadestrid, AKA ½ of the studio lineup of CBL.