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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 30th, 2023

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  • It’s not even very good softcore porn. Tell me, at what age is reading about people having sex where one of the two uses their power and money to trick the other into thinking that they’re loved and not just some playboys breathing sex doll appropriate?

    Edit: monitor? Yes. Actively discuss about? If they want to. If fifty shades interests them even after talking over what it’s about, that’s fine. They’re allowed to make mistakes to learn from. Our jobs as parents are to teach them and to help them figure out who they are, not hide them away from society and keep them in ignorance as long as possible.


  • If they bring home fifty shades, I’ll treat it just as if they brought in Dean Koontz or a copy of Grendel. I’d have a frank discussion about how not all books and writers are good. They can read it as examples of either what not to do or as warning signs to look out for, either in literature in general or in people’s actions. I’d also recommend better stories that they’ll enjoy more. If they bring home books I do enjoy but have either problematic contents or authors, I’ll treat it just the same. I love Asimov but the way he wrote women was gratuitously sexist. Lovecraft was xenophobic. Rowling is a terf and her house elves and goblins are definitely not good. Etc etc etc

    And advise that they may get in trouble if they read it in front of some people because they have this weird hangup about preventing children from recognizing toxic relationships or the realities of the world.

    If they’re old enough to understand the words and concepts in the book, it doesn’t do them any good to pretend like they don’t exist.

    Again, withholding knowledge and understanding because people think the children must be protected reduces their own agency and tools to understand the world.



  • ‘Appropriate for children’ is what I have an issue with.

    Withholding knowledge because of an arbitrary line is the antithesis of learning. Who gets to determine what is appropriate and for whom?

    If my kid wants to read something with content that’s more mature, I’m ok with that. If I’ve read it, I’ll warn them of the more shaky bits that they’ll come across and what is and isn’t ok especially relative to their age and mentality.

    If they bring home fifty shades, I’ll have a discussion about it with them and the concepts of consent as well as body autonomy and let them know that what happens in that book are not that.



  • I’m on the other end of the fence on this one. Knowledge shouldn’t be withheld due to arbitrary lines. If the parents aren’t tuned into what their children are reading or if the kid feels they must hide away what they’re reading, it’s indicative of more serious issues than books.

    I say this with a kid who’s just starting to learn their letters and not at a point of reading on their own yet. If they want to pick up Ulysses or the silmarillion, I’m not stopping them. I will warn them they’ve chosen books that are very advanced and they will have more questions than answers while reading.