Badabinski

Yep, sharing your trauma should be an exercise in trust and intimacy. People should not share their trauma with others just to provoke a specific emotional reaction. I also have some second-hand experience with what you mention. One of my SO’s parents is a hideously narcissistic person who would trauma dump all over my SO to invalidate any feelings or concerns my SO might have. That, combined with gaslighting and other forms of emotional abuse and neglect, plus some physical and sexual abuse set my SO up with a fuckton of trauma to process. They also had a hard time with hearing of other people’s traumas, although for them it was in more specific circumstances, rather than generally.

I like to think that most people trauma dumping are victims who aren’t creating another iteration of the victim/abuser cycle (I base that off of nothing but my own hopes, I have no numbers), but there are definitely people who have weaponized it. I’m sorry to hear that you went through that :/ hopefully you’re free from those toxic people. After my SO’s parent kicked my SO out (a horrible night, but one of the best nights of their life in retrospect), my SO moved in with me, did a whole lot of EMDR therapy, and has managed to heal from the damage caused by their parent. Hopefully you can find a treatment, process, or mindstate to help you, since it sounds like you still have some wounds from what was done to you.

Having a frank and vulnerable discussion of your trauma with someone you have emotional intimacy and trust with is incredibly important and can help the healing process. I’d highly encourage people to do that.

However, I think the term “trauma dumping” often refers to the practice of sharing your trauma with people who you don’t have a close relationship with, or with people who you haven’t interacted with long enough to generate trust.

I am a former trauma dumper, and I dumped my trauma all over a person who I should not have. That person turned out to be a very untrustworthy person. Their knowledge of my wounds allowed them to do some incredibly harmful things to me over the course of an eleven months relationship. I managed to escape, but it was a bad move, and I learned to become more careful about who I shared that information with.

Plus, there is always more to you than your trauma. It certainly doesn’t feel that way when you’re really stuck in it. Hell, me saying that may have just made some people very, very angry. I got really angry when my therapist said that to me, because it felt like she was minimizing what I went through.

I came to understand that she meant I was an adult with passions and a whole life, and that adult is what I should share with people. By letting my adult self live in the present, I became more able to take care of my trauma using the inner child metaphor. My wounded inner child is precious and deserves care, and I share that with people who will appreciate that. The adult that I am also deserves to live and see the world, and deserves to be recognized by friends and family. Trauma dumping inverts that.

People stop getting to see the awesome person you grew into because humans are wired to pay attention to wounded children, be they physical or metaphorical. Some people will be tender, some will be dismissive, and a few people will take advantage.

So yeah, please share your trauma when it makes sense to, with people you love and trust. If there’s a mutual understanding, then any sadness they feel will likely be offset by the warm knowledge that they’ve helped you make it through another day and maybe heal a bit more. That’s what is shown in this meme. Let your adult self live your life the rest of the time, and use that adult to give the kid the care they needed but didn’t get.

(Wow, now that I’m rereading this post, I feel a strong sense of irony. Like, it’s not a trauma dump, but also nobody asked for me to write a fucking essay about a meme lol)

I just kinda vaguely name them after what they do and how big they are:

smol: my tiny little 2 bay Synology NAS that I’m no longer using
medium: my R620 with 4x 18TB drives that is my current NAS (medium, because it’s larger than my previous NAS). Is also a k3s worker and provides NFS PVCs.
big: my old full-tower gaming rig that’s a k3s worker and runs my Home Assistant VM
molecule: my current mini-ITX gaming rig and primary computer, also serves as the k3s master node and runs a lot of my home automation stuff. I think I picked molecule because it’s REALLY tiny (it’s in a Dan Cases A4v2, I think?) and it has a bunch of small stuff running on it (containers and pods)
monolith: my old T440p laptop. It’s a large, black, featureless slab that doesn’t do much
slab: my new Framework 13 laptop. I just kinda looked at it and said, “that’s a nice slab of metal”

All of the above running Linux. I tinkered with Ubuntu for the NAS (because I heard Ubuntu was good at ZFS), but I still absolutely hate Ubuntu, so it’s all Arch Linux.

As others have said, the inner child is an incredibly useful metaphor for trauma/therapy. The way your brain reacts to trauma is to basically create a bookmark of you at that time. If you manage to live through the trauma, then clearly, the emotions you felt and the actions you took worked perfectly!

Well, that was probably true in prehistory, but nowadays it’s a big fucking stupid liability. Like, for example, say I’m doing my adult job at $company and my coworker Todd Fuckwit (esq.) says something shitty about suicide that reminds my brain of an old bookmark. All of the sudden, my emotional state is transported back to when Young Badabinski saw the results of a parental suicide attempt and thought it was entirely their fault and Badabinski deserved it (Important note, this is not regular PTSD with vivid hallucinations/flashbacks, this is more about emotions). Now I’m freaking out in the meeting room and abruptly leave because I feel like a 12 year old who has just had their world ended, and escaping us what I did back then.

The way you heal this is to try to create a connection with that bookmark of yourself and then give yourself what you needed back then. Over many therapy sessions, I was able to help young Badabinski realize that none of that was their fault, that they didn’t deserve to see that, and that they should have had the warm and loving care of both of their parents. And you know what? It really fucking worked.

For more chronic cases (like a lot of emotional neglect), your inner child is just kinda… There? Like, the bookmark part of the metaphor breaks down a bit. Your inner child represents the tender emotions that were left unhandled and childhood needs that were left unmet. A lot of my therapy nowadays is helping my inner child feel less deprived and more loved on a day-to-day basis, because if I don’t take care of myself enough in the ways I need, then my brain will pull up the chronic inner child and I’ll be miserable for days/weeks/months. In contrast, the parts of my life where I’ve permanently changed my day-to-day behavior feel so much more fulfilling and wonderful. It’s not just about avoiding the negatives, you end up focusing more on achieving the positive.

I personally like describing it as a metaphor. I was a bit of an angry skeptic when I was younger (due to the aforementioned parent moving to a bunch of new-age crystal healing shit after their recovery and then trying to push it on me when I absolutely did not believe in the validity of those methods), so I didn’t like how metaphysical and “touchy-feely” an inner child felt. I’m no longer skeptical of this idea am a much more emotionally liberated person. I often think of my inner child as if it were an active presence in my mind (it feels more effective to do so for me). It took a lot of time time for me to reach that place. I believe that explaining it as a metaphor will get through to people who would otherwise spurn the concept. Metaphor or not, I still want to help the little human that is past me, and I’d love to be able to drink a potion that would let me talk to that twelve year old.

Huh, interesting! Sounds like it’ll be perfect for OP.

There’s always Termux and whatever you can install there. That sounds silly, but when I download from my phone, I do it using aria2c in Termux. It works great, and everything (AFAIK) is FOSS. zsh + fzf history completion/file finding (<c-T> is a godsend) makes it possible to use a CLI on a phone without going crazy. Only really works well if you’re already comfortable with the command line, which is definitely a big if. It works really well for me, but I’m one of those weirdos that doesn’t have a graphical file manager installed on their computers.

Eating this stuff would be about as bad as eating any regular cat litter that uses Fuller’s earth as the primary absorbent. The extra special ingredient (powdered quartz) is effectively nontoxic when ingested. The real issue is the chronic exposure to very fine silica dust.

Edit: to clarify, I do not believe that it would be safe for humans or animals to use this as cat litter. Just realized that this comment might have been taken as a “well akshually it’s fine.” It is not fine, silicosis is a dreadful condition.

So I’d like to chime in. It looks the the two primary ingredients for ZEP-o-zorb are Fuller’s earth and powdered quartz.

First, Fuller’s earth. This is good stuff! It’s actually often used as an industrial absorbent for chemical spills (the purpose of ZEP-o-zorb), as well as in some types of cat litter. It totally makes sense why this stuff would work well for you, and I understand why you’ve been using it for a year. It’s perfect for the task and has basically no downsides.

Now, about the powdered quartz… Chemically known as silicon dioxide. It’s often refered to as silica. Silica is also good stuff! It’s in concrete, it’s the main component of glass, and of particular interest for your application, it’s very good at absorbing volatile organic smelly stuff. Seems perfect, right?

Unfortunately, powdered quartz has a downside. When it’s in a very fine powder, it produces a lot of dust. This silicon dioxide dust is incredibly harmful to your lungs. Long-term exposure to silicon dioxide dust results in silicosis, which is a really serious illness that kills tens of thousands of people every year. Inhaling that dust can also give you lung cancer, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, or other autoimmune disorders.

I totally understand why you felt that this product was a great option! I don’t doubt that it serves as an absolutely excellent cat litter. I had two kitties that took the smelliest shits, and I was always searching for ways to fix that (either through diet, litter, stress reduction, or other things). I also understand how upsetting it can be to share something with people and be met with disbelief, denial, and accusations. However, I really want to urge you to look past all of that and reconsider your use of this product. The silica dust is practically invisible and tasteless, and it had the chance to cause you many years of problems. You and your cat deserve to be healthy.

I tip 20% or $5 on takeout orders, whatever is larger (provided nothing goes terribly wrong). I have the means, and I remember how much I fucking hated working in retail. I depend on these people to feed me and I appreciate that they’re willing to do it (especially with how poorly they get treated at times). If I can make someone’s day better then it’s worth it to me.

That being said, I hate tip culture and wish that the laws in my country around tipping would change. This is getting off topic now (since I think that the people doing takeout orders aren’t subject to this), but it’s absurd that we let restraunts pay $3.50 an hour if someone is making the rest of the minimum wage in tips. If I tip someone, I want it to be because I really appreciate what they did. I don’t want to be paying their wages, they should be receiving a livable wage no matter what. I know that refusing to tip won’t change that, so I just go along with it.

I’ve also said nice things about it, and it’s just because I’m happy that I can look shit up again. The results are relevant, the blogspam and listicles get stuck in their own sections that I can safely ignore, and I don’t get constantly tracked by Google when I search for random shit. It feels like using Google way back in the day before enshittification.

I didn’t downvote those posts, but I did feel like the thread was aggressive when it didn’t need to be. I’d guess that a flippant/passive aggressive remark like “New to US civil law?” was (rightfully) upsetting to the user who clearly has an understanding of the law here. That user responded in kind and defended their original comment. However, they then kept responding to other users in a fairly aggressive fashion, even when those other users were communicating in alright way.

I totally get it. I’d be pissed if, after posting a well reasoned and researched comment on Kubernetes, someone responded saying “new to container orchestration?” I try (and sometimes fail) to express the more vulnerable feelings underneath anger online after dealing with my anger in meatspace. I find it results in more productive conversations. It’s hard to do that, so I’m not casting aspersions. I think that’s probably why people downvoted in this case though. People try to suppress and avoid aggression and conflict because those things are uncomfortable and used to be precursors to actual physical danger. It’s just biology and emotions at work.

Chlormequat is a “plant growth regulator.” It prevents the plant from creating a hormone that would otherwise cause the plant’s stems to elongate and thin. Falls into the “something else” category, imo.

Edit: I think that some plant growth regulators are hormones, but not all. I should note that I’m not an expert, I just like to look chemicals up on Wikipedia (and the linked sources) and noticed that a lot of journalists were getting this wrong.

This is the second time I’ve seen someone incorrectly refer to chlormequat as a pesticide. It’s not a pesticide, it’s a chemical that encourages plants to grow thicker stems, which in turn makes harvesting easier.

I don’t say this to defend its use. I just feel that it’s important to call it what it is.

Sodium-ion batteries appear promising. Like, the energy density by weight of the current market offerings is absolutely too low to be useful for vehicles, but there’s hope that can be improved in a relatively short timescale. Prices should be pretty good when factories finish tooling up, and most chemistries use no rare earth metals. Current densities seem great for grid storage, which is where hydrogen has the most potential right now (imo).

I still like the idea of hydrogen for some forms of transportation (freight trains, container ships, possibly aircraft if energy density could be increased or aircraft weight decreased somehow) and as a strategic emergency energy reserve. It’d be great to have more grid resilience as the environment continues to decay. I just worry about the energy costs that come with transporting hydrogen for cars and individual transport. Pipelines seem like they’d be challenging, and trucking it around seems a bit wasteful. In-situ generation would be ideal if power and water are available and hydrolysis can be made more efficient and compact, but that’s not possible everywhere.

I dunno. I’m glad it’s not my job to figure out the actual energy cost of everything, but I’m really hoping grid-scale sodium-ion batteries will become a reality sooner rather than later, and that we’ll see sodium-ion batteries in cars within the next 10-15 years.

I hate righty-tighty lefty-loosy. Depending on whether you’re looking at the top or bottom of the screw, you can see movement to the right or the left. I hate whoever came up with it, and I wish I had been taught the right hand method. It works exactly the same as the electromagnetic right hand rule:
an example of the right hand rule as it relates to a screw thread

Basically, you take your right hand, stick your thumb out, and curl your fingers like you’re grabbing a broom handle. Point your thumb in the direction you want the screw to move to. Want to screw something in? Point your thumb towards the thing. Want to unscrew? Point your thumb away from the object the screw is currently in. Then, just look at the way your fingers are pointing! If it helps, squeeze your fingers into a fist and see which way they move. Alternatively, bend your wrist in, and observe which way your fingers are moving. Works every time.

It sounds complicated, but there are plenty of people who are unable to intuitively differentiate from right and left the way they can differentiate up and down. I am one of those people. Thanks to this method, I’ve been able to develop the muscle memory/intuition to know which way to turn a screw.

It’s important to note that this only works for screws that are “right hand threaded.” If the screw is only getting tighter when you’re using this method, then it’s likely reverse threaded, or left hand threaded. If that’s the case, just use your left hand instead of your right hand.

lol, I’d love to see the fucking ruin of the world we’d live in if current LLMs replaced senior developers. Maybe it’ll happen some day, but in the meantime it’s job security! I get to fix all of the bugfuck crazy issues generated by my juniors using Copilot and ChatGPT.

I’m not making this comment to disagree with your point, but the failure of the SL-1 reactor strikes me as an engineering and process failure more than anything else. The reactor was not designed in a safe fashion, probably because it was designed as a test bed for reactors that could be deployed via airplanes to the Arctic circle. The fact that an engineer was even able to fully remove a control rod, and the fact that removing that control rod lead to a fatal steam explosion make me think that they really tried too hard when they removed weight and volume from the reactor design.

In well designed safety-critical systems, human error should not be able to cause any form of bodily harm. I don’t think it’s a great idea for a private company to be running nuclear reactors on Earth to power something as trivial as a data center (investing in storage + local solar/wind/geothermal/hamster wheel velodrome seems like a more efficient use of resources for one thing), but I also don’t think that SL-1 is the best example to cite here.

As an aside, my high school Physics teacher went on a long diatribe about how the three SL-1 casualties were the only humans ever killed as the direct result of nuclear fission in the context of a nuclear reactor. Looking back on it, I think she was splitting hairs a bit, but it is an interesting point to make.

I want to offer my perspective on the AI thing from the point of view of a senior individual contributor at a larger company. Management loves the idea, but there will be a lot of developers fixing auto-generated code full of bad practices and mysterious bugs at any company that tries to lean on it instead of good devs. A large language model has no concept of good or bad, and it has no logic. It’ll happily generate string-templated SQL queries that are ripe for SQL injection. I’ve had to fix this myself. Things get even worse when you have to deal with a shit language like Bash that is absolutely full of God awful footguns. Sometimes you have to use that wretched piece of trash language, and the scripts generated are horrific. Remember that time when Steam on Linux was effectively running rm -rf /* on people’s systems? I’ve had to fix that same type of issue multiple times at my workplace.

I think LLMs will genuinely transform parts of the software industry, but I absolutely do not think they’re going to stand in for competent developers in the near future. Maybe they can help junior developers who don’t have a good grasp on syntax and patterns and such. I’ve personally felt no need to use them, since I spend about 95% of my time on architecture, testing, and documentation.

Now, do the higher-ups think the way that I do? Absolutely not. I’ve had senior management ask me about how I’m using AI tooling, and they always seem so disappointed when I explain why I personally don’t feel the need for it and what I feel its weaknesses are. Bossman sees it as a way to magically multiply IC efficiency for nothing, so I absolutely agree that it’s likely playing a part in at least some of these layoffs.

I live in Utah, so it’s pretty red 😅

Also, the congressman has his fucking finger on the trigger like the big stupid idiot that he is. Like, if you’re going to be a “gun person,” can’t you at least follow the rules? There’s so much wrong with this person and this photo.

People like this are the reason I got out of target shooting, which was the only sport I was ever any good at (which turned out to be really great for me, because I was able to explore machining and electronics stuff which I like more). Like, I was just there for the engineering challenge and precision, when it seemed like a bunch of the people I was competing with were there for the “2nd amendment fuck yeah fuck the libs fuck the poor my gun is an extension of my big floppy weiner” shit. I have such contempt for people like this, and I’ve grown to feel horrified at the violence that this type of behavior leads to.