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The instance isn’t yours. It doesn’t belong to the users. You are graced with being allowed to use it. The owner of the instance is the one that gets into legal trouble because you want to post your loli furry pictures to the world. If I ran my own instance I would be restricting content as well. And federating with an instance that hosts that shit forces them to also host that content.
It’s not a problem. When us women have the resources to be able to educate ourselves in the realities of the bull shit that’s been peddled to us, we stop being brood mares.