busy all around between the site stuff, other stuff, and interpersonal happenings
You must log in or register to comment.
I’m so bored and tired and I keep getting sick all the time
I don’t know if anyone will see this, or how much sense it’ll make. I’m so stressed and upset and everything, it’s hard to think straight.
My beautiful kitty Ziggy, who I love more than anything, the only thing that’s been keeping me alive, my fucking baby…is just full of tumors that are likely cancer. They’re growing so fucking fast. I don’t know how long she has and I can’t tell if she’s in pain, but I can’t fathom how she wouldn’t be with hiw distended her abdomen is from the tumors. I don’t even know if there would be any options if I could afford it because all I could afford (had to beg, borrow, and steal to get the money) was a minor needs clinic at the next city’s SPCA.
I don’t know how I’m going to afford euthanization. (I’m disabled and unable to work and am dependent on my disabled mom.) The time could come at any moment from now to a month from now, but with how bad it is, it’s likely to be soon.
It’s all complicated by the fact that she’s in heat because my mom has refused to get her spayed because it’s ‘not natural.’ So she’s suffering with the unbelievable amount of tumors, being in heat, and her favorite person being gone (mom’s out of town) all while nearly eleven years old. My poor baby. I hope she at least makes until mom is gone for a while before it’s time. She deserves some time with her momma before she goes. Especially because this is the longest mom has ever left her her whole life and she gets so upset even when she just leaves for an hour, let alone weeks, and while she’s dealing with all of this…
I don’t really have anyone to talk to but even if I did I don’t know if I’d be able to because of my disabilities and health issues and stuff making it so hard for me to talk to people and find my words and gather my thoughts on the best day…with all of this going on (on top of a massive pain flare) I just can’t fucking think and I CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO!!! She doesn’t deserve to suffer!! I don’t want my fucking baby to suffer!! What the hell do I do and how!? I AM NOT OKAY I was already suicidal before all this. God dammit. My poor baby. I hate life. What do I do!? I wish somebody would just fix it all for me and pay for everything so she can at least get hospice care or palliative care or something, and then a gentle euthanasia at home or something. I don’t know. What do I fucking do!? My poor sweet baby. I may edit this to add the X-rays if I can bring myself to see them. They’re fucked up.
HELP
I can’t offer much good advice or help, only some friendly words. Ziggy sounds like she’s had a good life with a loving family. The way you describe her situation there’s probably not much more that could be done for her even if money were no issue, but I would argue that you’re already doing the most important thing: being there for her and showing her that she’s loved and not alone.
Spending a pet’s last days or hours together is the hardest part of having a pet. Some pets are family members, which is something pet-less people for the most part can’t understand. You caring (and being strong) for Ziggy despite feeling helpless yourself is probably the most precious gift you can give her. Never forget that. Whatever happens in life that you have no control over - and cancer is a super-extra shitty example - the most important thing is to have somebody who cares about you. And for Ziggy that’s you.
I’m happy to announce I lasted about three weeks without antidepressants before running back for them! (I am not having a good time.)
No one who makes the rules at my job has ever actually worked it, and it’s frustrating.
So I grocery shop for people. We have an app that shows us the current item on the list, and we have to scan it to move onto the next item. In theory it takes us through the store in a nice streamlined order.
But the system isn’t perfect and sometimes the order makes no sense. I like to look over the list and make sure I grab things I’ll need to scan later.
Sometimes customers block a product and won’t get out of your way. I like to see what’s next on the list and grab that instead of doing nothing while I wait for the customers to move.
Sometimes I realize that I don’t have meat or produce bags on my cart and have to grab some, so I check the list to see how many I’ll need.
They just announced they’re getting rid of the list.
Every time they change something, my numbers tank. I don’t know if I’m recovering from this one.
Ehh horrible I would say. The stuff that’s going on is so bad that it’s probably even prohibited to post here. I don’t wanna get banned tbh
I’m officially done with 2024, had to get my dog/best friend of 15 year put down in the first week of January this year because she had a seizure and couldn’t stand or keep her eyes still so she was falling over all night, now my cat is at the vet and I’m not sure if he will make it and I have to get my other dog put down because he’s the little cunt that did it to him, sorry but that’s the only apt description of how I feel about him now.
So now I’m in this weird feeling, knowing this dog who 99.9% of the time was a great good little cute as fuck boy, he just had to fucking do this so now he’s going and I’m beyond angry at him, but I want to hug him and tell him how much I’ll miss him, I’m just broken atm.
So yeah, sorry to be a downer but I have literally no one to talk to about it, so you fine group of people will suffice.
Update: Cats all good, he got lucky with only minor scratches and a bit sore, so that’s something good, but yeah can’t trust the dog anymore…
sending you all the internet hugs. 🫂
Have a good week, everyone!
You too!
Mine has been alright. A few minor inconveniences, but they’re over now. That is all.
Hey folks! This is my first post in this community. :]
I thought I would use this thread as a simple intro post. Maybe some who have moved here from Tildes are active in both community recognise my name, I am indeed the same person. I’m interested in tech, history, books, video games and movies. Occasionally I make video essays which get like 20 views on Youtube. 🤣 But hey, I love making them so who cares.
My week is going pretty well, I’m on track to get my Masters degree, the final thing missing is the exam and that is gonna be around the start of April. I just need to deal with the beraucracy of the university and that is raising my stress levels.
Hi! Glad to have you here
Welcome, I hope you enjoy your stay!
Welcome :)
welcome! what kind of video essays, if I can ask?
So far it’s media analysis, but the only goal I have is “Anything that is interesting and I want to make a video about it”. I like delving into topics and if I think that it could fit then I’ll make a video about it. I’m not looking to make a living with my channel or get big doing it, I do it for the sake of doing it. :]
Currently I’m working on a video about the Mirror’s Edge sequel; Catalyst, and why its shallow world hit me so much harder than the equally shallow world of the original game. Working title is Mirror’s Edge Catalyst and empty worlds
