I only realised it later that many people have a transactional view of life. They think everything single activity must have a purpose. And while they not actively seek it, at the back of their minds they expect some sort reward. Like, the dude who scoffed the guy learning to play flute probably only wants to learn new skills if it impresses others, like a girl or something.
While everything you said is valid, sometimes that question is pure curiosity. “Because i want to” is completely valid, though I’d love to know what the inspiration for that desire was. Did you hear a really cool battle song? Some orchestral piece that sounded great? A friend recommended it? Couldn’t find an ocarina? Jamming to some folk metal?
As someone with ADHD, life is exactly this: negotiating with your brain to do the unrewarding thing by including a reward (i.e. buying a $40 pair of fluffy socks to make laundry end in a pleasant feeling). My “did a good job” dopamine response is hella muted and it makes anything that isn’t an immediate need or spur-of-the-moment whim get prioritized very poorly. Having a “transactional view” may be less about personality and more about mental makeup.
That whole “Why do I have to learn this? I’m never going to use it!” attitude from school. Learning a new skill is the reward. I love learning new skills. It’s my hobby. I’m never going to be an expert in anything, but I get to learn a whole bunch of interesting things.
I have been asked why the things I do are always so hard (implying that probably I just suck). It’s true, I do suck at most things I do, because I seldom do the same thing for a very long time.
Still, that only works so long as learning the skill can be made fun and rewarding. I think school failed at this in many cases.
Everything doesn’t have to be transactional, but there are a lot of activities that will eat away at your time and your life to your detriment. I like getting stoned and goofing off as much as the next guy, but sometimes it is a good idea to intentionally choose activities that add value to yourself or your life rather than ones that don’t.
I have a friend who spends nearly all of his time playing video games and smoking weed. There is no value judgment there, but I know it has caused him to miss a lot of opportunities for romance, career advancement, new experiences, and a lot more. It makes him miserable, but he refuses to acknowledge it is a problem, and acts like I’m a jerk if I try to bring it up.
So I guess my opinion is that everyone is entitled to do as they will, but it also behooves you to keep trying new things, especially when you are objectively not happy with your current situation.
I only realised it later that many people have a transactional view of life. They think everything single activity must have a purpose. And while they not actively seek it, at the back of their minds they expect some sort reward. Like, the dude who scoffed the guy learning to play flute probably only wants to learn new skills if it impresses others, like a girl or something.
While everything you said is valid, sometimes that question is pure curiosity. “Because i want to” is completely valid, though I’d love to know what the inspiration for that desire was. Did you hear a really cool battle song? Some orchestral piece that sounded great? A friend recommended it? Couldn’t find an ocarina? Jamming to some folk metal?
I swear I’m inquisitive!
Though one should probably not phrase it “Haha! Why?!” if it was out of curiosity.
As someone with ADHD, life is exactly this: negotiating with your brain to do the unrewarding thing by including a reward (i.e. buying a $40 pair of fluffy socks to make laundry end in a pleasant feeling). My “did a good job” dopamine response is hella muted and it makes anything that isn’t an immediate need or spur-of-the-moment whim get prioritized very poorly. Having a “transactional view” may be less about personality and more about mental makeup.
That whole “Why do I have to learn this? I’m never going to use it!” attitude from school. Learning a new skill is the reward. I love learning new skills. It’s my hobby. I’m never going to be an expert in anything, but I get to learn a whole bunch of interesting things.
I have been asked why the things I do are always so hard (implying that probably I just suck). It’s true, I do suck at most things I do, because I seldom do the same thing for a very long time.
Still, that only works so long as learning the skill can be made fun and rewarding. I think school failed at this in many cases.
Everything doesn’t have to be transactional, but there are a lot of activities that will eat away at your time and your life to your detriment. I like getting stoned and goofing off as much as the next guy, but sometimes it is a good idea to intentionally choose activities that add value to yourself or your life rather than ones that don’t.
I have a friend who spends nearly all of his time playing video games and smoking weed. There is no value judgment there, but I know it has caused him to miss a lot of opportunities for romance, career advancement, new experiences, and a lot more. It makes him miserable, but he refuses to acknowledge it is a problem, and acts like I’m a jerk if I try to bring it up.
So I guess my opinion is that everyone is entitled to do as they will, but it also behooves you to keep trying new things, especially when you are objectively not happy with your current situation.