Otherwise, is there real tension between bisexuals and other queer folks?
Yes. From queer folk, it’s “This is just a fad for you. I can’t be serious with you, because when you stop experimenting, you’re just going to go back to straight relationships”. And on the other side of the coin, straight partners tell them that they’re really in denial about being gay, and that they can’t get serious with them, because when they eventually accept that they’re gay, they’ll leave for a gay relationship.
Too queer for straight partners, and too straight for queer partners, despite being neither.
If you want to read up on it, it’s called “bi erasure”.
Luckily I’ve found this is also a lot less common when talking to younger queer people. A lot of older gays have become unwilling to accept anything outside of what being queer meant when they were younger.
Definitely. It’s hard to blame older queer folks for having some trouble empathizing with younger parts of their community that have generally had a much easier time expressing their sexually and are now shaping the community in ways they do not understand. Of course I’ll never excuse bigotry, but I do think most of older gays reservations about the way their community is changing come from a place of fear not malice.
Yes. From queer folk, it’s “This is just a fad for you. I can’t be serious with you, because when you stop experimenting, you’re just going to go back to straight relationships”. And on the other side of the coin, straight partners tell them that they’re really in denial about being gay, and that they can’t get serious with them, because when they eventually accept that they’re gay, they’ll leave for a gay relationship.
Too queer for straight partners, and too straight for queer partners, despite being neither.
If you want to read up on it, it’s called “bi erasure”.
Luckily I’ve found this is also a lot less common when talking to younger queer people. A lot of older gays have become unwilling to accept anything outside of what being queer meant when they were younger.
Intuitively that makes sense to me (let’s be fair … ageing sucks), especially for members of an oppressed minority.
Definitely. It’s hard to blame older queer folks for having some trouble empathizing with younger parts of their community that have generally had a much easier time expressing their sexually and are now shaping the community in ways they do not understand. Of course I’ll never excuse bigotry, but I do think most of older gays reservations about the way their community is changing come from a place of fear not malice.