• bleph@lemmy.world
    1·
    1 年前

    Homie I’m sorry that happened.

    You might want to do some research on:

    • verbal abuse
    • narcissistic parent
    • low self esteem

    This is what I wish someone else told me.

    Good luck on your journey

    • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
      0·
      1 年前

      Thanks for the sympathy- my mom hasn’t been very emotionally stable for my whole life. She’s not perfect and sometimes I think she’s wrong, but I know she loves and cares about me

      • Contramuffin@lemmy.world
        1·
        1 年前

        Oh, just because someone is abusive or unsupportive doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. It just means that their interactions aren’t healthy for you and you need to establish boundaries.

        Regardless, I hope that you’re doing well. I don’t know what your project is, but I can certainly tell you that it’s much more impressive than anything I’ve made

        • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
          0·
          1 年前

          That’s true, but I feel like the internet is quick to brand people having moments of failure as abusive. Nobody is perfect, and I can’t expect my parents to be perfect. Imo, calling my mom abusive is far too extreme.

          • Sivaru@lemmy.world
            0·
            1 年前

            Yes, in this world there is no one who wants what is good for you more than your parents. Many people forget that, if your parents have problems, you need to take care of them.

            • bleph@lemmy.world
              1·
              1 年前

              I don’t agree with this in all cases.

              True, parents usually have a deeply ingrained emotional need to protect and nurture their children but:

              • Not all parents do. Narcissists have children all the time. When they do, they cloak their emotional vampirism in ‘love’ like they do in all relationships.
              • Even parents with the best intentions have to work HARD not to pass on their generational traumas, abuses, and bad habits.
              • Only the child can truly know what will fulfill them as a person. Parents often substitute what they wanted for their younger selves for the child’s best interest.

              For those still thinking I have no idea what I am talking about and you and your parents are different… please look into “enmeshment” for your own sake

      • redsol2@lemmy.world
        0·
        1 年前

        I read a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. My mom is similar, and it gave me a lot of insight into why she behaves the way she does, and how I may have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result. Highly recommend.

        • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
          0·
          1 年前

          I’ll look at it- I care about my mom a ton so it’s hard for me to criticize her. But, I also understand sometimes she doesn’t act in a supportive way

          • entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org
            1·
            1 年前

            You should at least recognize that you’re holding a double standard here: she’s able to criticize you all she wants yet you know she cares and loves you, but it’s hard for you to criticize her because you care.

            That kind of double standard is an unhealthy dynamic that hurts both of you and your relationship with each other. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it was either of your intent for it to be that way, but it has ended up that way regardless of best efforts.

  • GnuLinuxDude@lemmy.ml
    0·
    1 年前

    I’ve got a 60 star project on github. Some people have left some very nice feedback about how useful my code has been for them as a Linux alternative to a Windows program. I’m proud of my little bit of code, even if it hasn’t earned me a single cent (nor do I have expectations for it to)!

  • winterayars@sh.itjust.works
    0·
    1 年前

    Bill Gates was Bill Gates because he had rich parents who got him access to millions of dollars of computer hardware at a time when that was much harder than today. If you’re not Bill Gates it’s on your parents, imo.

    That said, 100 stars is great. Keep it up! That’s 100 people who looked at the stuff you’re doing, evaluated it using their expertise, and decided it was good enough work to call attention to.

    • spauldo@lemmy.ml
      1·
      1 年前

      That part of it, sure, but the guy was good at business and made some smart bets (that the microcomputer industry would explode, for one). Microsoft didn’t get as big as it has based only on their technical ability. They got there because they made the right decisions and were cutthroat against their competitors.

      Bill was at the right time and right place, but he was also the right guy. You gotta have them all.

      • Hexadecimalkink@lemmy.ml
        2·
        1 年前

        Cutthroat is an understatement. He did a lot of illegal stuff in the USA and internationally because governments had no idea how he was exploiting them/breaking commercial law. He also bribed hundreds of governments and stifled innovation. The world would be a better place without him.

        • spauldo@lemmy.ml
          0·
          1 年前

          Sure, but that’s how business works when you’re as big a company as Microsoft. And he was good at it.

          I never said he was a nice guy, only that he was good at business.

  • Korne127@lemmy.world
    0·
    1 年前

    I’m genuinely just really sorry. 104 stars is awesome for a hobby project, and if she isn’t, I’m proud of that and happy for you :)
    But yeah, I’m sorry that she hasn’t appreciated that and reacted in a nice way… and besides that, obviously coding open source is something good for job prospects.